A Ghost Of Him
by Azura Rayume
Summary: That place... That voice... All those memories that had haunted him for so long dissolved the moment he saw his face... LxLight... Sorta.


**Yeah... Kinda a work in progress... I wrote the beginning randomly after I finished "My Final Death Note," then got hooked on the idea. If it seems unfinished, that's probably because it isn't. Anyway, please ignore that and enjoy!**

"Why are we here?" Ryuk asked, staring from stone to stone nervously. The grave markers were eerie enough to send a shiver up the Death God's spine. He quickly reminded himself that they were human deaths, human graves, but he couldn't help but be reminded of what had happened to Rem every time they came here.

Light glanced back that the Shinigami for a moment, then muttered, "I need this, Ryuk." He didn't know _why_, but something drew him back to the cemetery he hadn't visited in months.

The strange pair walked on, passing headstones without relative interest, before finally arriving at a cross shaped marker set apart from the rest. It seemed rather modest, considering the importance of the man it represented.

L.

Light sank to one knee, resting a hand on the base of the stone. "Hey, Ryuzaki..," he murmured, smiling despite the tears in his eyes. "I miss you. I thought I'd enjoy not having to compete with you, but this whole charade has just grown so boring. I wish I'd had the chance to tell you this in person, but it's too late for that now." He leaned closer to the grave and mimicked the moment he first met the strange detective. "I'd like to tell you that I am Kira."

"I'm glad to hear you say that, Light-kun."

Light froze. No way. It couldn't be... could it? It was impossible, and yet... that voice...

He turned, half hoping he was right, and saw him, the shaggy haired detective that _he's watched die._ He was just standing there staring with those dark eyes. A thousand questions sprang into Light's mind, most of them concerning his own reaction of mingled joy and fear.

"What are you doing here?" he finally asked, glancing nervously over at Ryuk. The Shinigami shrugged, unhelpful as ever.

L ran a hand through his hair. "Visiting, like you." His tone made it sound almost normal for someone to visit their own grave. "And, apparently getting a confession out of you, which was unexpected."

"Are you really-? Light allowed the question to trail off, the meaning implied. Either answer could be catastrophic, but he had to know.

"Alive?" L shook his head sadly. "Of course not. Humans can't come back to life, Light-kun. You know that. I just wanted to visit."

Light sighed. For a moment, he'd dared to hope that L was still alive, and now he cursed himself for it. The detective _had_ to be dead; there was no way around it.

He let his eyes stray to the ground, unable to look at the man he'd called a friend any longer.

"Light-kun, why are you crying?"

What? He ran a hand along his cheek and was surprised to find it come away laced with wet tears. "...I don't know..."

"Do you regret me dying?"

"Of course."

"Do you miss me?"

"More than ever."

"Are you afraid?"

"I-what? Afraid?"

"Yes, Light-kun. Afraid."

"Of what?"

"To be alone."

Light made to respond, then stopped. The answer was caught in his throat. He didn't want to say it, to admit it to himself. Finally, he managed to choke out a weak "Yes."

L nodded, more to himself than anything. "Yes, so am I. We've always been so alike, Light-kun. It's a pity we couldn't spend more time together. Pity..."

Light felt the tears come again, even though he tried to hold them back. He'd already cried for L once; there was no reason for him to repeat that.

"I'm sorry."

Where had that come from? Light pressed a palm to his forehead. First a strange attraction to a place he normally would have avoided, and now he was apologizing to a ghost. Sure, it was Ryuzaki, but still... If there was anyone else around, they probably would have thought he'd lost it.

And yet... the simple act of saying what was constantly bothering him seemed to make him feel better. If only slightly.

"I'm sorry for what I did to you. I'm sorry I lied. I'm sorry I killed you."

"I know."

The words rang in Light's mind, somehow acting as both soothing balm and irritant to his fraying nerves. L knew. The phrase was almost accusing, but the tone was one of acceptance, maybe even forgiveness.

A peal of distant thunder broke the moment of silence, drawing the attentions of both young men from their own thoughts. A few windblown drops of water dotted the grave as well as Light's hair and clothing. L held out a pale hand and frowned as the rain simply passed through it.

"I miss the rain..," he mumbled sullenly, provoking a bright laugh from Light. The detective threw him a quizzical glance. "Can't I miss something as simple as the rain? Honestly, Light-kun..."

"It's not that," Light managed to say through his laughter. "You're expression... It's priceless."

"How so?"

"You... Well... You looked like you expected something else to happen."

"Should I not? Things don't normally pass through you, do they?"

"No, but... You're dead, L."

"What difference does that make?"

"Ghosts can't hold things. You should have figured that out by now."

"I did. That doesn't mean I'm used to it."

Light blinked. He hadn't considered that, really. The idea that people would have to get used to being dead instead of just accepting it as fact. Come to think of it, there were a lot of things he hadn't considered about death, seeing as how he did nothing but bring that end and never once thought about what would happen when it finally came to him.

L sighed. "I miss this," he muttered, though Light wasn't sure who that was supposed to be directed to. "I miss the banter we used to have. I miss the case, the chases, all of it. I even miss the blank stares we used to get from the rest of the task force." He shook his head, then turned his dark gaze on Light once again. "How long are you going to keep leading them on?"

The shift in tone was dramatic, though not entirely unexpected. "I- I don't know," Light confessed. "I hate having to tell them lies, especially my father. Until the rest of the world accepts Kira and the good he is meant to do in this world, though, I have to. If I don't, they'll try to stop me, and… And I don't want to hurt anyone who doesn't need to be."

The detective nodded, though he could have very well done nothing at all. "So you're ultimate goal is… what exactly? I don't believe we ever nailed the motive down."

"To change the world for the better, like I said."

"Ah, yes, but to what end?"

"I would rid the world of evil and rule as the god of a new world."

"Oh, so the childlike egocentricities that I predicted in the first place were entirely true then."

"Hey!"

"Come now, Light, you know it's pointless to argue with me now. I'm just making sure I was right on as many points as possible."

"You don't have to rub it in, you know."

L smirked. "Ah, but I do. I said I was the same, childlike. Remember? Or were you even there for that?" He shook his head. "And here I was thinking we were on the same level, Light-kun. You disappoint me."

For some reason, that stung. The idea of disappointing L was one that Light didn't want to consider.

"Hey." For the first time, L's attention turned to Ryuk, dark gaze shifting to rest on the black and blue Shinigami with a fierceness that would have made even the Death God shake. "Are you every going to tell him the truth?"

Ryuk fumbled for a moment before deciding to shrug. "Dunno. Maybe."

"You probably should sometime. You could at least do something right for once."

Light stared at Ryuk. Just stared. Maybe it was the fact that L had actually acknowledged the Shinigami's existence that caught him off guard, but maybe it was the actual exchange. "Wait, wait, wait," he stammered, unsure of what to make of any of that. "Tell me the truth about that?"

L smiled, his gaze softening. "You'll know eventually, Light-kun. I would tell you myself, but I don't seem to have time."

"What?"

The detective blinked at Light. "What do you mean, what? You didn't think my time here was indefinite, did you? I can't stay here forever, as much as I would like to. I'm sorry, but I have to go back."

Light's hand clenched into a fist, the tears coming back to his eyes again unbidden. "No. Don't leave me. Not again."

"I can't-"

"No!" Light reached for L, tried to draw the detective close, but his hand passed though his friend's ethereal form.

L shook his head, striding forward and laying a hand on Light's shoulder. "I can't stay. I would if I could, believe me. I can't. I'll have Watari save some cake for you, though, for when I see you again." The faint glow around him began to fade, and then he was gone. Vanished into thin air as if he had never existed.

Light shook his head, a tear or two falling away into the grass at his feet. He took a deep breath to calm himself, the turned his face skyward, smiling slightly. _See you on the other side, Ryuzaki,_ he thought, hoping that he could meet up with L for that cake some day. _Some day soon._

Ryuk stared at Light, not sure if he should say anything or not. "Hey, uh, Light? You gonna be okay?" he asked, his growl of a voice somehow timid.

"Shut up, Ryuk."


End file.
